Rep. Jeff Flake: "My Constituents are Stupid" -- And He's Right!

Politico Mafioso reports:

Wednesday, August 11, 2010
CONGRESSMAN JEFF FLAKE - Heat of the campaign

I’m often asked by my colleagues in Congress how I can vote “no” on cleverly-worded spending bills that seem on their face to be the legislative equivalent of motherhood and apple pie. I could never explain a ‘no’ vote like that to my constituents,” they say.

“You don’t have my constituents,” I tell them. “They’re Arizonans. They believe in limited government, and they understand.”

In other words, you're assholes.

And he's right.

I've lived all over the country: in different parts of Florida, New York and California; Wyoming and Arkansas; New Hampshire and Virigina and suburban Chicago and New Orleans.

The stupidest people in the U.S. live in the East Valley. If you're part of the intelligent, cultured minority and are not a registered Democrat or Republican (that would automatically exclude you), I hope you'll vote in the Green primary and write for me. But frankly, I don't care that much. Because Jeff Flake knows his constituents, and he's certain to win.

The Sixth Congressional District of Arizona has been gerrymandered to include an overwhelming majority of morons.

The truth is, bad as Jeff Flake is, he's probably better than you morons deserve. He is sensible on immigration (a co-sponsor of the DREAM Act) and ending the funding for the useless war in Afghanistan; supportive of antidiscimination legislation against gay and lesbian workers and for ending the boycott with Cuba; and at least more reasonable than most Republicans on the need for a carbon tax to ameliorate global warming.

It's actually pretty amazing that such stupid voters constantly re-elect someone as intelligent as Jeff Flake. But he should easily win his Republican primary against a just-as-wingnut but much stupider opponent, Jeff Smith.

AZ-06 Republican Congressional Primary: Jeff Flake vs. Jeff Smith = Vampire Edward vs. Werewolf Jacob

The choice facing voters in Arizona's Sixth Congressional District in the August 24 Republican primary between Jeff Flake and Jeff Smith is like the choice between Jacob and Edward in Twilight.

Like that vampire-vs.-werewolf rivalry, the AZ-06 primary is a choice for morons created by a moron.

For Arizona's working families, it means: Do they want the blood sucked out of them by a congressman with the work ethic and compassion of a corpse or to be violently attacked by a dopey werewolfish corporate lackey?

It's twilight for America, no matter who wins.

The real question, of course, is what a member of Congress can do for average people who want the competence both Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson sadly lack as actors.

We can summarize the contest for the AZ-06 Republican primary by substituting the names of the clueless candidates for the wooden actors in a leading movie critic's review:

Jeff Smith seems to have recently escaped from a high school cheerleading squad somewhere while Jeff Flake’s right-wing pouts convey the peevishness of a guy who just lost a Greta Garbo lookalike contest — for the third time in a row! — to his own girlfriend.