Monday, June 21, 2010

Feckless Fanatic Congressman Jeff Flake Calls for "More Pain" for America; Entrenched Arizona Politician Wants New Great Depression to Balance Budget


Today at a Capitol Hill news conference, Arizona Republican Rep. Jeff Flake called on Americans to endure "more pain" and "a new Great Depression" in order to reach his goal of a balanced budget.

"Americans, and Arizonans, have not really suffered at all during this so-called recession," Flake told reporters. "Balancing the federal budget is something we have to do immediately. That's why I've voted twenty-three times against bills that would spend money to help those admittedly unfortunate Americans who've lost their jobs or are facing minor financial difficulties like not being able to afford probably uneccessary spending on items like junk food and needless medical care."

"I'm proud to have voted a total of seventeen times against increasing or extending unemployment benefits, which is a wasteful social spending scheme," Flake replied in answer to a reporter's question asking how the Congressman felt about Arizona's maximum weekly unemployment benefits, third lowest among the states, recently going down to $216 from $241. "The unemployed need to value the free market a bit more and pull in their belts."

"I had no problem surviving a week with no money at all on a desert island for a week," Rep. Flake said, "so I think everyone collecting unemployment benefits or other unnecessary government benefits like food stamps, Medicare or Medicaid need to be a little more self-reliant like me."

Flake derided commentators like Nobel Prize-winning Paul Krugman who've said that imposing financial austerity can cause a new Great Depression. "Maybe we need a new Great Depression," the Congressman told reporters. "It would help voters see that they've been living off the government teat for too long."