On August 24, Republican primary voters in Arizona's Sixth Congressional District can decide between two Jeffs: Jeff Smith and crazy incumbent Jeff Flake. Jeff Flake will probably win the primary and then the election. Some people, including many Republicans, say Jeff Flake's worst enemy is Jeff Flake. Read this from Wonkette and you'll know why:
ANTIQUATED SLURS
Rep. Jeff Flake Would Like To Redact That Thing About Referring To Himself As A ‘Pansy’
Republican Arizona congressperson Jeff Flake spent the week on a desert island, literally, and someone asked him how this made him feel. Well, truth is, Jeff Flake hasn’t felt like a man since leavin’ the ranch. Nope, it’s impossible to feel like much of a man at all, with this fancy humans-only society-livin’. “I’ve felt like a pansy, I guess, and this made it feel like I was actually doing something again.” Like, he didn’t feel like such a queer again, on account of all the nature and shit. “Congressman Flake didn’t realize that that word can have a negative connotation. He simply meant ‘wimpy.’ He apologizes if anyone took offense to it,” said his spokesperson. Does this look like the face of a pansy to you?? [Ben Smith]
10:30 AM on Thu October 15 2009
By Juli Weiner
2389 Views
Tagged:
* apologies,
* congress,
* jeff flake,
* pansies,
* antiquated slurs
1.
SayItWithWookies says at 10:33 am, October 15th, 2009
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Looks more like a leg-humper to me.
2.
whiskey tango foxtrot says at 10:35 am, October 15th, 2009
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Did someone redact the linking verb in that there headline?
3.
Lascauxcaveman says at 10:36 am, October 15th, 2009
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As a pure-blodded wimp, I find your apology extremely offensive, sir.
4.
Lascauxcaveman says at 10:37 am, October 15th, 2009
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Heh. “Pure-blooded.”
Wimps can’t spell for shit. And they’re funny looking.
5.
Pop Socket says at 10:37 am, October 15th, 2009
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The question is rhetorical, right?
6.
freakishlystrong says at 10:38 am, October 15th, 2009
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No, that face cold screams “I’m a bottom”…
7.
ph7 says at 10:38 am, October 15th, 2009
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Seeing how he spent his week on the island repeatedly posing for shirtless photos, I think we went in pansy,and came out one, too.
8.
DangerousLiberal says at 10:42 am, October 15th, 2009
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When those kids in 7th grade called me a pansy ’cause I couldn’t play sports for shit, they knew that they really wanted to say “fag.” Which I wasn’t, but still…. So this guy doesn’t know what the word means? Asshat.
9.
queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:42 am, October 15th, 2009
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Answer, Jeopardy-style: What is “Hell Yes?”
10.
hobospacejunkie says at 10:44 am, October 15th, 2009
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gay face
11.
Doglessliberal says at 10:44 am, October 15th, 2009
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He didn’t realize the word can have a negative connotation? First: He was using it for its negative connotation. Second: what adult American male doesn’t know what that word connotes? I think it was a requirement for years that coaches of boys’ sports had to scream the word at players. So, if you are going to try to cover your ass after the fact, Flakeboy, do it credibly.
Oh, and Jeff, if you don’t want to be a pansy, have the balls to apologize yourself, OK?
12.
Norbert says at 10:45 am, October 15th, 2009
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Hiking the Appalachian trail = boning an Argentinian lady
Spending a week alone on a desert island = 7 days of nothing but wanking
13.
Doglessliberal says at 10:45 am, October 15th, 2009
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ph7: and he said he was on the island ALONE, with only minimal provisions. So who took the photos, and with what? He MacGyvered up a cocoanut camera on a palm tree tripod?
14.
hobospacejunkie says at 10:45 am, October 15th, 2009
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DangerousLiberal: They couldn’t call you a fag in 7th grade? What a bunch of pansies.
15.
S.Luggo says at 10:46 am, October 15th, 2009
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Jeffy was born in Snowflake, Arizona. End of discussion.
16.
ManchuCandidate says at 10:48 am, October 15th, 2009
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I dunno. He seems rather Flakey to me.
17.
Clancy_Pants says at 10:49 am, October 15th, 2009
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Pitcher or catcher?
18.
PinkyTuscadero says at 10:51 am, October 15th, 2009
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You felt like like something you can buy for 2.99 in the outdoor garden center at the Homos’ Depot? How can that possibly be, given that you hail from that dry-ass clump we call the state of arid zona? At the Depot the miraculous hidden misters administer water from time to time, and that, sir, is how pansies are grown. But in the arid zona, there are no misters. Just missuses. Oh, now I get how you’re a pansy.
19.
Kingbee says at 10:51 am, October 15th, 2009
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The problem is that when at home, he wears his pansy suit — footie pajamas with a big, gorgeous, artificial pansy sewn to the breast. When he was on the island, he was gloriously naked! Flake.
20.
Mustang says at 10:51 am, October 15th, 2009
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He looks like the closeted guy at the party who goes out of his way to look like he’s trying to pick up girls.
21.
WadISay says at 10:51 am, October 15th, 2009
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If you really want to get your manhood back, go to an island where you can hunt “the most dangerous game.”
22.
bfstevie says at 10:52 am, October 15th, 2009
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He probably should’ve said “Nancy boy”. Or, in young people speak, nancy boi.
23.
Marlowe says at 10:52 am, October 15th, 2009
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Does this look like the face of a pansy to you??
Yes.
24.
Woodwards Friend says at 10:52 am, October 15th, 2009
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This is Glenn Beck’s Republican Party. They’re all pansies now. Also they’re all Rush Limbaugh. Whereas.
25.
iolanthe says at 10:52 am, October 15th, 2009
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That is a serious case of gayface.
26.
binarian says at 10:55 am, October 15th, 2009
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“Jeff Flake”? Really? Wow.
27.
WarAndG says at 10:55 am, October 15th, 2009
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Coincidentally Rep. Pansy is trying redact his comment about him being a flake.
28.
Doglessliberal says at 10:56 am, October 15th, 2009
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iolanthe: look at his whole-body shots. Maybe Playgirl will let him do a pictorial with Levi?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/11/AR2009101101760.html
29.
binarian says at 10:56 am, October 15th, 2009
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Oh, and alt text for this pic? “Yeah, kids used to beat me up and take my lunch money in school.”
30.
queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:56 am, October 15th, 2009
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Doglessliberal: According to the CNN article, “minimal provisions” included sunscreen (a suggestion made by… wait for it… John McCain), a satellite phone (to call his wife), a desalinator so he could have fresh water, and a snorkeling kit complete with spear and net (to catch him some Chicken of the Sea, presumably). No word on whether or not he brought a soccer ball that he could decorate with a face so he could have someone to talk to.
31.
charlesdegoal says at 10:58 am, October 15th, 2009
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Flake, pansy, what’s the difference?
32.
Mahousu says at 10:59 am, October 15th, 2009
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I wouldn’t call him a pansy. More of a petunia.
33.
ttommyunger says at 11:00 am, October 15th, 2009
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No, he’s not TOO gay! Got to be rough being a little “light” in your cowboy boots when your’re from the “Skidmark State.” You’ll do all kinds of dumb shit to deny it, like spending a week on an island playing wak-a-mole with your wang 24/7. Jeesh!
34.
hobospacejunkie says at 11:01 am, October 15th, 2009
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Jeff Flake has destroyed thousands of lives with his pansy comment. Waiting for news that he hasn’t voted in the past 25 years. Because voting is for pansies.
35.
t_rax says at 11:01 am, October 15th, 2009
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Rep. Matthew McConaughey (R-AZ)
36.
Doglessliberal says at 11:03 am, October 15th, 2009
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queeraselvis v 2.0: what a pansy.
37.
joeybrill says at 11:04 am, October 15th, 2009
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The gray tufted varicose-vein testicle set is HUGE in his area. The have survived circuit parties on less than two bumps and a Snapple. Poor Jeff is dead meat.
38.
teebob2000 says at 11:04 am, October 15th, 2009
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Well, he shouldn’t have spent all that time when he came back in the Tucson Greyhound terminal trolling the men’s room stalls. I know when I do that, I definitely feel like a queer!
39.
progressiveinga says at 11:05 am, October 15th, 2009
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Highlighted hair? Check
Bleached teeth? Check
Plucked eyebrows? Check
Conclusion: Pansy is as pansy does.
40.
Pop Socket says at 11:05 am, October 15th, 2009
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Clancy_Pants: Pinch hitter.
41.
nbawriter says at 11:06 am, October 15th, 2009
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Pansy? I kind of feel a little sorry for the guy if he had to apologize for that.
Do they sell sympathy pairs of Mormon underwear that you can gift for a guy?
42.
nbawriter says at 11:08 am, October 15th, 2009
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queeraselvis v 2.0: (Joe) Wilson!!!! YOU LIE!
43.
qaf says at 11:09 am, October 15th, 2009
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S.Luggo: Shouldn’t he have ten or so slightly-related siblings?
44.
ShiningMathPath says at 11:10 am, October 15th, 2009
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hobospacejunkie: he meant to say “panzy” –like he’d been spending too much time immersed in styrofoam
45.
Aflac Shrugged says at 11:12 am, October 15th, 2009
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It’s not the living amidst the heights of modern convenience that makes you a pansy, Jeff. It’s the intern frosting all over your face.
Just use a wide stance and let your freak flag fly high. It’s only a matter of time before the Republicans elect so many closet cases that they have to back you guys up in public.
46.
qaf says at 11:14 am, October 15th, 2009
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Doglessliberal: To be fair, he was sharing the island with Sally Lightfoot crabs, which seems appropriate somehow.
47.
magic titty says at 11:16 am, October 15th, 2009
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He looks like he masturbates to magazines.
48.
nbawriter says at 11:18 am, October 15th, 2009
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magic titty: So he’s bipartisan?
49.
Doris Ziffel says at 11:18 am, October 15th, 2009
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progressiveinga:Doglessliberal: Not to mention that he apparently works out a lot and wears those skin-tight workout shirts when he’s wearing a shirt at all.
50.
finallyhappy says at 11:18 am, October 15th, 2009
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I guess his constituents are stupid- since the rest of us know he knows what pansy means.
51.
Doglessliberal says at 11:19 am, October 15th, 2009
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Doris Ziffel: not that there’s anything wrong with that
52.
S.Luggo says at 11:21 am, October 15th, 2009
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qaf: Yeah, and they all look like this: http://pbskids.org/teletubbies/noflash/coloring/tinkywinky.gif
53.
Let Me Wet My Beak says at 11:35 am, October 15th, 2009
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The irony is, the pansy is an incredibly hardy flower that blooms amid the snow.
54.
Gopherit says at 11:37 am, October 15th, 2009
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Jake Flake is a delicate flower.
55.
S.Luggo says at 11:39 am, October 15th, 2009
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BTW: Alan Grayson has major hatred for Representative Flake.
http://grayson-for-congress.blogspot.com/2008/04/us-senate-unanimous-against-genetic.html
56.
GayInMaine says at 11:41 am, October 15th, 2009
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Is this the beginning of a sex scandal? Because its been a pretty boring start to Cocktober so far. Just saying.
57.
Come here a minute says at 11:45 am, October 15th, 2009
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I’m offended by ‘wimpy’. Now I’ll never vote for that pansy.
58.
Holden Caulfield says at 11:52 am, October 15th, 2009
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Does this look like the face of a pansy to you??
Not so much the face as the hair. That’s definitely pansy hair.
59.
Barrelhse says at 11:59 am, October 15th, 2009
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Tres Ghey, I’d say.
60.
thefrontpage says at 12:07 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Yes, we guess that working as a federal Congressman isn’t really “doing anything.” Yes, that’s correct, that’s accurate. So please resign from office today, since you’re not really doing anything. And let someone take the office who feels like they are really doing something. Maybe you can write a book about spending a week on an island and eating fish, crab and coconuts. Maybe it’ll even be turned into a movie, starring, maybe, Tom Hanks. But, it should be noted, Tom Hanks is not a pansy.
61.
Humpback says at 12:08 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Ya know, I can see his point. He’s been called a flake all his life and he probably never realized it was an insult.
62.
Monsieur Grumpe says at 12:13 pm, October 15th, 2009
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When I see his photo I envision a Craiglist posting that says:
Will clean your toilet with my tongue for insults and spankings.
63.
house of the blue lights says at 12:27 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Well, he can’t say he felt like “flake” clearly, so what else was left?
64.
Carrie_Okie says at 12:42 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Poofter
65.
chascates says at 12:45 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Hook him up with Meghan.
66.
PuffAdder says at 12:53 pm, October 15th, 2009
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WarAndG: Ahh! Hot miso soup everwhere!! You bastard.
/yeah, he’s a pansy
67.
AnnieGetYourFun says at 1:01 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Hm. I would have said “hockey player on vacation in Hawaii” if you hadn’t gone and ruined it by telling me he’s a politician.
68.
RoscoePColtraine says at 1:17 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Just say “candy-ass” because everyone likes candy.
69.
lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:40 pm, October 15th, 2009
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This entire posting is rampant botanism. Why do animals insist on disseminating devastating caricatures of plants? Is a pansy any less in God’s eyes than a moose? (okay, it’s slightly less funny…) Until plants have equal rights, all of our rights are diminished. Tokenism is no longer enough — electing vegetables like Jeff Flake or Michele Bachmann to Congress won’t suffice. And while we’re at it, let’s change his name to Jeffrey Avalanche for using the p-word.
70.
PsycGirl says at 1:52 pm, October 15th, 2009
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In related news, Congressman Pansy dealt with being a flake.
71.
JSDC007 says at 1:57 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Jack Tripper meets early 90s gay porn set to music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, i.e., a pussy bottom.
72.
S. Cullen Bonz says at 2:03 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Is that his publicity shot from his tour with “Up With People”?
73.
Vulpes82 says at 2:23 pm, October 15th, 2009
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I wasn’t quite sure based on the portrait, but this picture (http://www.theawl.com/2009/10/congressman-insincerely-apologizes-to-flowers) convinced me: THIS pansy wouldn’t mind being on a desert island with THAT pansy!
74.
Min says at 2:27 pm, October 15th, 2009
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What a flake.
75.
PoignancySelz says at 2:52 pm, October 15th, 2009
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This post was just equal opportunity to all our gay friends, re: Meg’s tatas.
He also looks more excited than a fag in a locker room.
76.
cybervoyeur says at 3:00 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Any pansy or flake that has a worked-out body like that has got to be gay.
77.
Uncle Glenny says at 3:19 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Fuck. As I was skimming my Wonkette I saw that pic before I even read the headling and thought “pansy.”
I mean, how did that guy make it out of high school?
78.
Neoyorquino says at 4:27 pm, October 15th, 2009
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I’m sure he doesn’t feel like a pansy. But I’ll bet you feels pretty. Oh, so pretty. He feels pretty, and witty and . . . well, this is a much easier set-up than a “got a rocket in your pocket” reference. And yes, I enjoy the occasional show tune. What of it?
79.
Violenza says at 8:18 pm, October 15th, 2009
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Closeted weirdo in a wind tunnel!!
80.
Robert Zimmerframe says at 11:02 pm, October 15th, 2009
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“uh, what I really said was chimpanzee, you know, I was climbing the trees and, uh, eating bananas and stuff”.
81.
NYNYNY says at 12:19 am, October 16th, 2009
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Mormon political dynasty scion heiress.
82.
LowerdPeninsula says at 1:41 am, October 16th, 2009
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I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I didn’t know the connotation of the word until I was probably a teen, and played “Smeer the Queer” at recess (a kind of primative football/rugby hybrid for those that don’t know) during my elementary school days thinking of the name of the game as practically one word, and/or having no idea what a ‘queer’ was.
At this guy’s age, however, he’s just bold-facedly lying.
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